Crocodiles

A vintage joke from Dave Allen

A bumbling officer-type is staggering through the desert with his batman. They are both racked with thirst, so when they come across a river the officer instructs his man.

"Go and fetch me some water from the river"

The man goes off, but returns quite quickly, without any water.

"I can't get near the river sir - there are crocodiles in it."

He is met with "Don't be ridiculous man! Get back there"

Off he goes again, but again returns without any water.

"Sir, I saw six ENORMOUS crocodiles, there's no way I can get to the water!"

"Listen," says the officer, "Those crocodiles are far more afraid of you than you are of them."

The batman replies, "Well in that case sir ... the water is definitely NOT fit to drink!"