It's My Birthday

Heard on tour 2004 - believed to be originally by West-country comedian Jethro

A lady goes into a butcher's shop looking very happy.

"Good morning Miss Jones", says the butcher, "you look very happy today."

"Yes" she says, "it's my birthday."

"Really", says the butcher, "how old are you?"

"How old do you think?" she asks.

"Oh, err, 53?" says the butcher.

"No, no no!", says the lady, "I'm 61."

"Well I am surprised" says the butcher, "you don't look that at all."

The lady continues with her shopping and goes into the grocer's.

"Good morning Miss Jones", says the grocer, "you look very happy today."

"Yes" she says, "it's my birthday."

"Really", says the grocer, "how old are you?"

"How old do you think?" she asks.

"Oh, err, 48?" says the grocer.

"No, no no!", says the lady, "I'm 61."

"Well I am surprised" says the grocer, "you don't look that at all."

By now very pleased with herself she heads off to the bus stop, where she meets a chap slightly the worse for drink.

"'Ello", says the man, "you look very happy today."

"Yes" she says, "it's my birthday and both the butcher and the grocer think I look far younger than I really am."

"Really", says the man, "well how old are you then?"

"How old do you think?" she asks.

"Well", says the man, "it's a bit difficult for me because my eyesight isn't that good... but if I could just feel your skin I could have a better guess."

He feels her face, her arms, her breasts, her bottom - all the time keeping a studious expression on his face. After about 15 minutes he stops and announces "You're 61!"

"That's amazing", she said - "How did you know that."

"Well I was standing behind you in the butcher's!"